Regency Culture and Society: Large and Small Talk

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LARGE TALK AND SMALL TALK Some young men have a habit of talking largely about things and about themselves They desire not only to shine but to astonish These belong to the class dubbed by society Magnificent liars Let them give over the habit for they are never believed even when they may be telling the plain unadorned matter of fact So far from shining they are pretty sure some time or other to have the shine completely extinguished by some intended victim who cannot stomach the silly im position longer Small talk is as great a fault as large talk whether it be shallow or flippant Part of the conversation must necessarily be made up of commonplace topics but these can be dealt with in a rational and gentlemanly manner without condescending to gossip and old wives gab ble Talk much and err much says the Spaniard and the Spaniard is not far wrong If we lay ourselves out to talk much then we venture upon what we do not know very well rather than cease talking and so make blun ders To bridle the tongue is not so very easy when it has a mind to set off at full gallop Reason lies be tween the spur and the bridle Use a wise modera tion being neither too sedate nor too talkative The former will proclaim your ignorance to the company the latter your presumption and conceit Talkativeness though in the main to be censured does not always pro ceed from want of judgment In Scotland people are not talkative enough they are too reticent and when they do talk they rather argue than converse In France the conversation seems to us an eternal jabber so incessantly do they talk In England they have a free open hearted talkativeness that is light merry and cheerful without being at all flippant and this seems to be the vein most natural for the purposes of conversa tion

Dunbar’s Complete Handbook of Etiquette (1834)

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3 Responses to Regency Culture and Society: Large and Small Talk

  1. M. L. Kappa says:
    February 10, 2024 at 10:58 pm

    I have a question: when writing about members of the aristocracy, should one capitalise? I.e. the Earl of x. Is it the Earl said, or the earl said? Writers seem to differ…
    Love the blog, by the way!

    • Anne says:
      February 11, 2024 at 5:38 pm

      Thanks for the question! I will do a little research and report back. Look for the next Regency Reader Questions post!

  2. cstaerkel52c4124da8 says:
    February 18, 2024 at 9:01 am

    Love how the English have discourse perfected. At least, according to them.