Regency Culture and Society: After Dinner Talk

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AFTER DINNER After dinner the subject of conversation should be of a light and entertaining character such as the general news or current literature of the day Keep pace with the tenor of the conversation around you Carefully guard against the wily wine stealing away your brains Dunbar’s Complete Handbook of Etiquette (1834)

Dunbar’s guide continues:

Then the tongue loosens itself and runs off or floun ders in the mud of a thick utterance or a plunging stuttering Shun all approaches to argument or discus sion you are not met to draw conclusions but to accept them from each other in a friendly way For this reason politics is generally forbidden as an article of conversation for in a mixed company there is sure to be a difference of opinion and men think too keenly upon that to talk amicably about it Besides it is extremely suggestive of the hot electioneering party spirit we witness so often when summoned to record our thought by actual vote Should any one be so rude as to turn a joke upon you turn the laugh as good natur edly as you can upon himself but avoid collision with any one as much as possible Toasts are going out of fashion except at public entertainments A well told ancedote or a clever conundrum is about the only kind of public solo you can venture on When you have joined the ladies alter your style entirely Should the evening be fine and you take a turn in the garden you find yourself paired off with a companion Should that companion be of the fair sex entertain her with the language of Flora or the poetry of flowers or some such sentimental subject Should you be linked to a gentleman you may narrow the choice of your subject and select that which you know he is the most intimately conversant with

For any enterprising young man living on the cusp of the Victorian era, the language of flowers was definitely important.  You can read more about that here: Regency Culture and Society: The Language of Flowers 

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One Response to Regency Culture and Society: After Dinner Talk

  1. Anonymous says:
    January 22, 2024 at 12:02 pm

    Love this. We should practice this more in society.